How Much We Are Willing To Share?

The other day, I found myself engrossed in a divorce documentary. It wasn’t the typical drama or heartache that caught my attention—it was a marriage health assessment the couples were going through. Each partner was asked questions about their spouse: What’s their favorite color? Their Favorite flower? What are their concerns? Simple, right?

At first, I thought, "Oh, this is just about seeing how well they know each other." But then, an expert on the show said something that really stuck with me. He explained, “This isn’t just about testing how much your spouse knows about you. It’s also about how much you're willing to share about yourself.” That hit hard.

Are You Open or Guarded?

Think about it—how much do we actually share with the people who matter most? Sure, we might think our spouse should just know what we like, what we’re afraid of, what keeps us up at night. But are we actually telling them? Do we share what we love, what we hate, what makes us feel insecure in our relationship?

This concept doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. Let’s zoom out and think about work. Do we really tell our boss or our team what we need, what we expect, or even what we don’t want? Or are we silently hoping they’ll just figure it out? Spoiler alert: if they don’t, we end up frustrated and resentful. And honestly, it’s not really their fault.

Sharing Is Key to Avoiding Resentment

We’ve all been there—waiting, silently hoping someone will just “get it.” But life doesn’t work like that. If we’re not openly sharing our thoughts, our desires, and our expectations, how can we expect anyone to meet them? Imagine a boss who never tells you what they expect but gets angry when you don’t deliver. Or a relationship where your partner doesn’t know what’s wrong because you haven’t said a word. The outcome is predictable—resentment, bitterness, and strained relationships.

This applies to all areas of life — work, family, friendships. If you don’t communicate, you’ll always feel like no one understands you. And here's the real kicker: It’s often because we haven’t given them the chance to understand.

Being Proactive Is About More Than Planning

I used to think being proactive meant having a to-do list, checking off tasks, and preparing for what’s to come. But I’ve realized that’s only part of the story. The real power of being proactive comes from taking initiative—and that includes opening up and being transparent. It means taking control of your actions, your feelings, and yes, your conversations.

Waiting around, hoping someone will magically read your mind, is a recipe for disappointment. And sure, opening up is risky. What if you share your feelings and they don’t respond the way you want? What if they reject your ideas or dismiss your concerns? Guess what—that’s okay.

Take Action: Start Sharing

The fear of rejection keeps us from sharing, but rejection isn’t the worst thing that can happen. Staying silent is. When you take the first step and share your thoughts, you give people the opportunity to understand you, and you open the door to real connection.

So, here’s the challenge: be the person who starts the conversation. Tell your spouse what’s really on your mind. Share with your boss what you need to thrive at work. Let your team know what you expect from them. Yes, you might face rejection or awkwardness, but so what? You’ll survive, and you’ll be better for it.

If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t share, no one will ever know how you feel. Take the risk, be proactive, and watch how your relationships—both at work and in life—start to change for the better.

Call to Action: Today, try opening up. Whether it’s a conversation with your partner, your boss, or a friend, take the first step. Share something real—something that’s been on your mind. It doesn’t have to be big, just honest. See what happens when you let others in. You might be surprised at how much clarity and connection come your way.